Regular Guy Review: Jurassic World

This is how a summer movie is done. Huge set pieces, lots of action, fucking dinosaurs, and great human leads all make for one hell of a time at the movie theater. I was lucky enough to see it opening night in a huge theater that was packed to the brim. Needless to say, my theater was going crazy. Chris Pratt was much more macho and charismatic than his usual dorky and quirky self, but it worked really well. The kid actors weren’t too bad either. Although there were some obvious weak points, the movie as a whole delivered exactly what I, and apparently many others, expected it to deliver. Dinosaurs fighting dinosaurs, velociraptors, jungles, suspense, fun characters, and a great sense of wonder. Let’s rip into this movie and digest the good with the bad.

What Worked?

The Fucking Dinosaurs (Duh!)

The dino’s are what we go to these movies to see. We care about the humans, but it’s all about seeing this larger than life animals tear into each other and humans. We want to be terrified and awed by these behemoths. Jurassic World is much more aware of this than both Jurassic Park 2 and 3, and it is better off for it. It gives us plenty of crazy dino action as well as more species to like, dislike, and shit our pants over. The Indominus Rex was a cunning, well-rounded dino villain who was a certified killing machine. It was great seeing her fuck shit up all over this island. Pratt’s raptors were also super awesome. It was uneasy to see them be trained because you expected them to go crazy at a moment's notice, but I think ultimately that helped build more suspense. We also get the classic T-Rex action that we’d expect to get from the Jurassic franchise, but the real award for scariest fucking dinosaur to ever live goes to the Mosasaurus. It’s a humongous underwater dinosaur that just straight up murders the hell out of whatever gets close enough to its enclosure for it to snatch up. It plays a pretty great role in the movie as well. Overall, these dinosaurs did not disappoint.

Pratt Fever

Chris Pratt is definitely building up his nerd portfolio. He’s doing great as Star Lord, but is great as this macho man dinosaur tamer. He is fun to watch, but also dramatically believable in situations of duress. He isn’t very douchy in this film either, which was a very nice surprise. Pratt makes you love him like he always does, but carries the film a bit more than he did in Guardians. He is shaping up to be the next big leading man, and this is just another notch on his impressive belt of hits.

Landscapes

We all love seeing these huge dinosaurs roam in a land large enough and lush enough for them. Just like the first movie, this one gives us some great, sweeping shots of dino’s running and grazing in their designated areas. It makes for really beautiful shots that inspire awe. It’s just one of the many pieces of the Jurassic puzzle that this movie fits perfectly.

What Didn’t Work?

How Big is the Indominus Rex?

The first time we get an obscured look at it, it seems to be comparable to the likes of Godzilla. Then, when we see it for the first time, it doesn’t look very much bigger than the T-Rex. Then, again when we see it slithering around in the forest it looks small. Later on, while it’s being shot at by a helicopter, it looks huge again. Also, when we have a few close-ups of its face getting close to our human characters, it looks giant yet again. Even in the final showdown, it alongside other dinos doesn’t look as menacing as they talked it up to being. I don’t mind it being around the T-Rex size, but I wish it would have looked a bit more consistent throughout the film.

Really? No Cell or Walkie Reception?

There are dinosaurs in this world, but it’s not like we’re living in the Jurassic Age! Why the hell is there so much fucking static on the walkies, and no goddamn reception on the cellphones!? It never explains this, but uses it several times in the movie. I would have liked it if perhaps they had the Indominus knock down a cell tower or something, but nothing of the sort was ever said or shown. I mean what the hell? With the amount of people coming in and out of this place how could they have this bad of reception? I get it, it’s a movie, but this is something that could have easily been added in and explained to make these moments even more tense rather than a little dumb.

Why The Fuck Would You Make This Creature?

I get it. You wanted to make a thrilling animal that would scare the patrons and create a spike in attendance, but why would you literally make an unstoppable killing machine. Who does that benefit whether you’re the park head, or the nefarious scientists doing some black market splicing? Like what the actual fuck? It just seemed a bit weird. There was a little nod when Vincent D’Onofrio told BD Wong to hide evidence of “what they’d been doing there.” But what exactly were they doing, and who would it benefit? It was just a bit confusing trying to find an adequate excuse to do such a dumb thing with so many smart people around.

Overall Assessment

This movie was a great summer movie. It was extremely fun, especially with an engaging audience. It made for a great time at the theater that has seemed to be a bit lacking this summer. I was very happy to return to this world and explore what else we can do with these dinos. Everyone in it acted well, and the action was exciting. There were some very dumb parts in this movie, but that’s to be expected when you’re watching a movie full of dinosaurs in a theme park. All of this being said, you should definitely go see this on the big screen and buy some popcorn. You’ll enjoy yourself.

Score: 7/10

As always, please let me know what you thought in the comments below. Have you seen it yet? Will you see it? Did you like the new dinos? Are you still in love with Pratt? Please be sure to share this, follow me on Twitter @HaneyCasey and check out my website if you aren’t already at www.slackernerds.com. Thank you all for reading!

"What Did I Just See?": Mission Impossible Rogue Nation Trailer 2

Take a deep breath. I know that trailer was one hell of a thrill ride, but let’s take a moment to step back and do what we film nerds do best: over analyze (If you haven’t seen the newest trailer yet go here, courtesy of Variety). I’m going to break the newest trailer down and address what worked, what didn’t, and give you my overall assessment. Hang on to the side of your plane, and let’s take off.

What Worked?

The Music

I want to start off with a smaller detail to the trailer, but I think it’s worth mentioning because any trailer that can incorporate a Led Zeppelin song into it deserves a metaphorical high five! Beside me just being a huge Zeppelin fan, the song they chose, “Whole Lotta Love” is a rollercoaster of musical precision just like Mission Impossible is an orchestra of stunts and action. I also love how they mixed it into the standard spy song at the end that we’re accustomed to hearing with this franchise.

The Band is Back Together

Not that the band was really broken up, but everyone is back and ready to play their part. As my previous metaphor alluded to, each person plays their selective instrument, or role, perfectly. We have Jeremy Renner getting Washington in order, Simon Pegg being a computer nerd while screaming frantically, Ving Rhames looking suave as always, and motorcycles. I know motorcycles aren’t a character or characters for that matter, but damn they might as well be! They’re in every damn one of these movies and they do all of their own stunts just like Tom Cruise. Oh yeah, did I mention he’s in this too? He’s just doing Tom Cruise-y things like holding on to planes, driving motorcycles, blowing stuff up, swimming, and talking about Scientology I’m pretty sure.. Ok no he didn’t do that last one, but who knows, maybe in the next trailer he will. Overall, it’s great to see them all back together and working the same dynamics they’ve had before. If somethings not broken…..then it wouldn’t be a Mission Impossible film...everything always blows up.

The Stunts...All of Them

Holy balls. I think the key to doing all of these crazy stunts might be Scientology. I’m kidding. Tom Cruise’s massive balls are thanks to him just being a complete crazy person. However, he is one entertaining crazy person to watch. Regardless of him being the legal size of a Hobbit, he can really hold his own in action scenes. Every explosion just grabs you by the face and screams pure awesomeness right at you. Then it grabs you again and asks if you can hear it. It’s that intense. This movie is basically Nitro Circus with a sky high budget and Tom Cruise. Both this and Nitro Circus have copious amounts of motorcycles though so I guess they’re even more alike than I previously thought.

What Didn’t Work?

Simon Pegg

Simon…(I get to call him Simon because we’re best friends...we’re not) you can’t seem to act very well in areas of intense action. You’re great in dire situations of a small capacity, i.e. Shaun of the Dead, but when your boy “Tommy Cruising Through the Sky On a Fucking Airplane” needs you to open the damn door you seem to clam up like a teenage girl deciding if she wants to go to prom with Rick or Bobby. It just doesn’t seem like your reactions are very on point, and your acting seems to be affected by the scope of the film. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, but in these big budget films you seem better served with more intimate scenes rather than being the catalyst in a scene.

Anti-IMF

Really? It seems like someone on the team created the awesome name “The Syndicate” but the bosses douchebag son was like, “No let’s call them Anti-IMF,” and they just compromised by saying both because the boss can do whatever he wants. The use of this actual term just seems so on the nose. It’s like tattooing the word “Damaged” on let’s say the Joker’s head. Like who would even do that? Come on people. Let’s just stick with the Syndicate. It’s objectively way more badass, and doesn’t sound too classy like Spectre.

Assessment

Overall, I was jamming to this badass trailer with badass music. It got me pumped for one of my most anticipated summer movies this year and gave me everything I have come to expect from this franchise. So, did this trailer do its job? Hell yes.

Score: Hell Yes/Hell Yes

Let me know what your thoughts were about this trailer and sound of below in the comments. Don’t forget to like, share, and follow me on Twitter @HaneyCasey. Thanks for reading!

Entourage Movie Reaction and Review

As someone who didn’t watch the tv show and wasn’t too excited for the film, Entourage was a great time at the movies. It had a million cameos, fast cars, good-looking women, drugs, alcohol, and celebrity problems. Basically, everything that everyone has come to expect from the show was present and delivered well. The movie definitely wasn’t an Oscar caliber movie, but it was definitely an enjoyable, funny movie. I will say that you must go into this with the correct expectations.

Plot

The overarching conflict in the movie is getting Vince’s movie made and on to screens. However, during this process all kinds of shenanigans take place. Turtle finds love with Ronda Rousey which makes for some great scenes where they fight and she demolishes him. E is having a baby with Sloan, while also getting involved with other women. He thinks he got another woman pregnant, however she and yet another woman he slept with are actually punking him. I think it would have made for a better story if he had actually gotten this other woman pregnant, but the movie seemed to be really focused on having each character come out on top since it was the final time we’ll see these characters. Vince struggles with his insecurities because his movie “Hyde” is his directorial debut. His insecurities are actually refreshing considering everyone else in the movie is basically riding a constant high, except for his brother Johnny Drama. Drama is struggling with his lack of success, and is trying to come to terms with being number 2 to his little brother. His storyline helped humanize a very fictionalized version of Hollywood. Ari made for the funniest scenes in the movie by switching between lovable father and family man to uncontrollable rage machine that fights to get his way. He has to deal with being studio head, while also dealing with Vince and his crew going over budget. However, his loyalties to Vince and his entourage are what cement the film together and you feel the sense of brotherhood between all characters. Although, there don’t seem to be very high stakes in any of the storylines, the ride each takes you on are filled to the brim with hilarity. This makes up for the lack of serious conflict, but I do wish they would have taken some bigger risks in the movie.

Cameos

What kind of person would I be if I didn’t at least talk a little bit more about the signature cameos in the movie? As I said before, I have never watched the show, but even I know that the show is infamous for copious amounts of cameos. Although, I felt like I was left out of some of the inside jokes associated with a few cameos, most were very in the moment and hilarious. What’s great about Entourage is the fact that most of the actors who appear get to play versions of themselves. The best was Gary Busey rambling at the screening party. He is just so wild off camera that when you do seem him on camera you feel like you’re not even scratching the surface of his insanity, but it is still great. Another was Jessica Alba throwing a fit about doing an action movie, when she really just wants to make her passion project. One that I felt a little lost on, but was still very pleased with was Liam Neeson flipping off Ari. Ari asks him if he was still mad at him, and I don’t know what he was referencing, but Liam immediately flipping him off was priceless. There are countless others, but those were the highlights for me.

Should You Care?

Absolutely! I think the fact that I had such a great time watching this film without any background on the show just speaks volumes about how good this movie actually is. I know that most critics are panning this movie, but they don’t seem to understand that this movie is meant to feel like a victory lap for a team that won years ago when they ended the show. This is the epilogue to a show that already had it’s ending. If you go into this movie expecting to have a good laugh, then you will be very pleased, but don’t go in expecting to see an Oscar contender.

Score: 7/10

Please let me know in the comments what you think because I’d love to hear what you have to say about Entourage. Do you agree? Am I being too noncritical of this film? Did you enjoy it? And will you see it? Sound off below and please follow me @HaneyCasey on twitter.